Cerrando Circulos: On Old Chapters Closing, New Chapters Opening

Yesterday was my final day at work at Boston University, where I’ve been working since May 2013.

I got to campus early and headed to Life Alive to have some coffee and finish up a couple thank you notes I had yet to write for my team. And as I was sitting there at the bar, waiting for my coffee, writing my note to my mentor Sara Rimer, Michael Kiwanuka’s song Home Again came on. In that exact moment, I had literally been thinking: It has been so helpful for me to have a woman like Sara in my life, especially with my mother gone.

That song came on and I was knocked off my feet. It was like being swept away by a wave.

I first heard that song years ago, right after my mother died. I remember it so clearly. I was sitting on a bean bag chair in Restoration Hardware and it came on. These lyrics pierced my heart like an arrow:

Home again
Home again
One day I know
I'll feel home again
Born again
Born again
One day I know
I'll feel strong again

In that time of my life, I was so broken and so lost. I missed my mother so much and I had so many regrets that wracked my heart about what I could have done differently while she was alive. And I remember hearing the words of that song and just longing to feel that way again someday. Home again. Strong again. Feeling so very far away—like I was looking at that state of being from a distant shore.

Seven years later, sitting at the counter of Life Alive, it came on. And I realized I felt that way. Home. Strong. So grateful for where I am in my life, who I have in my life, and where I am and where I’m heading.

I have literally never heard that song in public any other time but those two—Restoration Hardware and Life Alive, yesterday.

And this is why I believe in everything. Believe in magic, believe my mother is still shining up there and keeping tabs on me, believe in the starry connections, fairy dust, the whole thing.

In a moment the light switched off and it was only stars for miles.

OK OK. 50K.

It’s been years since I signed up for a race I had to train for.

I did the Marine Corps Marathon and the Philly Marathon and didn’t train a lick. This was a terrible move. I was hobbling and cursing myself for weeks. I swore I wouldn’t sign up for a race until I could commit to training for it.

And I really wasn’t planning on signing up for anything this year. But a whole host of people I love are running various distances at Chesterfield Gorge the end of May and it finally just seemed like I might as well too.

This time I want it to be different though. This time I want to know I’ve done everything I can to ensure my body doesn’t get injured and that I can finish happy and strong.

I’ve got 14 weeks (I’m docking myself a week, as I’m getting my ass handed to me by whatever nasty cold is walloping the nearby population) and the first step is picking some reasonable training plan as a guidepost. I’m not planning to stick to the letter of the law, but I need help as it’s been a long time.

I was slowly building a nice base when I tweaked my knee, which has healed now, but I feel like I’m essentially starting from scratch.

Nick said he’d help me look at a couple options. Here are a few of the sites I found:

50K Training Plan - MapMyRun I love this one, a collab w UnderArmour as it gives strength, recovery, stability exercises too. What I’m not sold on is the mileage and rest. Respectively, it seems low and there seems to be a lot of rest days in there.

David Roche’s article in TrailRunner Mag This one’s more tailored to an ultra over 50K but I like the mileage here better.

How to Train for your First 50K Not quite a training plan, but a good jumping off point with some ideas, esp for long run approach.

I’m leaning towards a mix of the two — taking the multifaceted nature of the top one and mixing the long-run approach of the bottom two.

And just like that, I’m getting excited.

Sure on the Sherb

For years, at least two, my buddies Kenz and Dan have been encouraging me to come with them on the Sherb trail in the Whites.

After my experience with Friday Night Lights, I was all aflutter about back country and eager to finally jump on the bandwagon. I rented gear through the same shop I was able to use for Friday Night Lights, Kenz being kind enough to pick it up for me Saturday AM.

It ended up just bein’ me and Kenz as Nick was sick and Dan was traveling at a conference for work. We hit Moat on Saturday night, which was packed (we lurked around tables until we got one, making friends with another couple who was also lurking, and we all shared a 4-seat high-top) and we had a leisurely AM with a 9am move-out to the Sherb.

“ There’s no place for pride or ego in the backcountry.”

— Steph F, ultimate badlass

It was a bluebird day, and warm, unlike the previous day, and for that, I was so grateful. The parking lot was jammed. I realized quickly I forgot my water bottle, a rookie move, but Kenz offered to share, that gem. She explained on any other trail, she’d make us go get some but she wasn’t concerned for this one. We double and triple checked our other gear and got a move on. It was nice gearing up in the light this time as opposed to the dark, as FNL had been.

The trail was fairly busy. We adopted a mellow pace going up and chatted the whole way, talking about how the sport had gotten more popular.

I’d spent a couple weeks running Mount A, the most elevation nearby to me, to try to prepare for this day and though I’d taken a couple weeks off because of a tweaked knee, I still think it helped. I could see why Kenz and Dan’s fitness level is through the roof doing their Sherb laps, and why they in the past historically trained for the winter season by doing the Harvard stadium stairs. It’s 2.5 miles of ass kick, though I spent most of my time in first tier riser rather than the max.

We got up to the top, tried to do a quick transition and we were off. Kenz explained there’d be mogul-type parts, which is a challenge for me. The plus side? The snow was amazing. Fresh and perfect texture. I just kept shouting as we went down.

I’m a huge fan of human-powered activity rather than motorized. And knowing we’d gotten our asses up the hill ourselves for the run just felt like such a victory.

I was so grateful to Kenz for bringing me that day, and for being patient with me. I also had the words of my bud Steph F in mind as I went down, a Sherb veteran: Just take it slow and use all your tools and be honest with your group about how you’re feeling-don’t be ashamed or afraid to the be conservative one and ask folks to slow down. There’s no place for pride or ego in the backcountry.

Going out with a friend who knew my level, and having had a pep talk with Steph F and friends, gave me the confidence I needed to go into the day, take it slow and have fun. I was wooping and hollering and so so happy.