First Surf Post Partum

7 weeks and a day post partum

Today was my first day back to the beach with my surfboard after the birth of our daughter Sunny and after my unplanned C section.

I’d put some feelers out to a few girlfriends to see if they wanted to join but being that I was going early and it was Easter, I didn’t have any takers. I was ok with this—I love going out solo and it felt just fine for my return to be a private, quiet experience.

I gathered my gear up yesterday—my wetsuit and booties, mitts and wax, board and a belly board in case that felt more appropriate as I’m getting back on my feet (belly board was courtesy of Maddie, which is courtesy of Becca, which is courtesy of Jamie). I grabbed my bathing suit, changing towel, regular towel, beach shoes and figured I was set.

In the morning, I was about a half hour delayed from where I wanted to be, which made it better that my friends were unavail. I wanted some toast, my coffee a little leisurely and I wanted to kiss Sunny’s head approximately a hundred times before going.

“I’ll be back by 8:30!” I said to Nick, then internally wondered Where’s my surf watch? Luckily it was right where I left it in the center console. I put my board on top of my car—it felt just fine to lift it, I just went impossibly slow, then I threw on Maggie Rogers and drove north.

The ocean was bereft of other surfers, it being low tide and “knee high for a mouse” as Steph F would say but I was just happy to be there. I truly didn’t know if I’d be able to get my wetsuit on—that can be a major ab workout to get it on and off in and of itself, but I did it. It felt a lot tighter than it had last time I wore it, it squeezed my incision and I had to go really slowly but it worked. My old routine just felt like clockwork.

The tide was really low and it felt like I walked for a mile. Hoisting and carrying my board was just fine with my incision. Getting knocked in the gut by a wave didn’t feel great (you take for granted how you usually just absorb that) but lying on my belly and paddling, there was no pain at all.

The waves were perfect—infinitesmally small and clean and I got to ride a couple just on my belly. I held back from popping up—that quick snap / crunch didn’t feel right to me yet but I’m on the path, and it felt a lot less clumsy and less painful than Id expected to feel.

 It was pure joy, as it always, always is.

Maddie had lent me the belly board and normally I would have just left it in the car, and stuck with my familiar old reliable blue board. But something about having a baby and being thrust into the unknown and ejected out of my comfort zone meant I found myself marching back up to the car to grab it and test it out.

I mostly flailed about with it, having utterly no clue what I was doing but I was glad to try a new board and a new activity. And then, it was time to go.

When I got back to my car, I found myself thinking “That was perfect. I can’t wait to come back. And I can’t wait to get home and hold my baby.” And for that feeling, I am incredibly grateful.  

Surf: Lunchtime sesh

I jumped in for a super quick lunch time surf sesh. It’d been more than two weeks since I’d jumped in. Having 1) finished the last of my antibiotics for my ear infection yesterday 2) considered I was feeling better and most importantly, 3) it was in the 40s, low wind and 3-4 feet, it was game on. I’d been feeling buzzy and itchy and as usual, heading to “Church” (la playa) was the solution.

Only a couple people out and I ran from my car, wanting to maximize every second given I only had an hour for lunch with work.

I was just north of R’s and the waves were just fine. Mostly 1-2 feet but with a couple 3-4 coming through. It was my perfect type of day—small, clean, and quiet.

There’s no peace like the ocean, nothing like it to put my buzzy mind at ease and give me quiet.

I’d rather surf than not surf at all, so I walked away feeling like even if I only have 40 minutes or so in the water, it’s worth it and that I should try to take advantage of the quick lunch surfs more often. We’re getting more daylight but so so slowly and so, on mornings where I’m just not having it—not having that early morning frigid wake up call—I’m going to shoot up for a quick lunch time sesh and be glad for it. Better than nothing. Better than anything really.

Surfing Dawn Patrol Makes You a Crazy Joyful Ninja

Joy makes you a ninja.

Joy lights you up so darkness bounces off you like a tennis ball the rest of the day.

On winter mornings where I drag my ass out of bed, the blue of nautical twilight in the sky, wriggle into 6mm of rubber and make my way north to the beach, I am, essentially, driving to a session of Joy.

I park and I’m moving as fast as I can without forgetting things (I inevitably leave my wax on the back windshield wiper where I’ve stored it so I don’t have to reopen the car and then I arrive home after my seshie shocked and grateful that it’s still there). I’m moving so fast that I always wonder, Where did I stow my key? as I’m running towards the water. There’s no turning back to check, it’s too cold, I’ve got to work in an hour, and there are waves.

I’m running. Running so fast that I will likely trip on my leash and stagger or possibly fall but I don’t care because…there are waves.

And then I’m in the water. When there’s a break, I’m paddling for a spot beyond the break. And then I’m there, bobbing, watching the pink yolk of the sun rise from the horizon. Maybe I’m with Maddie or maybe it’s just me, the rest of the world asleep.

And then, a wave’s coming. It’s rising—is there enough push? Am I in the right spot? Gotta go!—and I’m paddling and it’s got me, and I’m popping up and riding the face or just cruising if it’s a wicked small day. Then I’m off, and inside, it’s church bells and holyrollin’ choirs, fireworks and confetti. It’s joy joy joy. It’s the doing of the thing I’m fashioned to do, the practice and the act. The ritual and the time that has brought me to this point. It’s the simple act of harnessing energy and being with nature, riding what she has given us, being one with that wave.

This feeling—this lit up, boogie woogie feeling—is with me all day. It’s got my shoulders higher. It’s got my voice all chirping like. It’s got me smiling and dancing and thinking, Whatevs! When life doesn’t go my way or when my coworker asks me an annoying question. It’s a suit of armor for whatever nonsense might come up.

It is JOY that comes from PLAY and the thing I love to do.

Maddie and I often find ourselves shouting, “IT’S JUST SO FUN!” when we’re out on the water.

Epiphany: FUN and joy: Not just for kids.

Fun and JOY is for you and for me!