Hold Nothing Back

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Didn’t get out today because I had to leave super early in the morning for work but was at least able to catch the ridiculously beautiful sunrise.

Yesterday and the day before we got some big swell rolling through from Lorenzo, which I was calling Lombardo for a solid day. Tuesday I got a solid left as I was getting out of the water. The current was crazy and pulling me north before I even realized what was up. Wednesday, I was out for DP along with 45 other people at TW. And I gotta be honest. I had a sesh I wasn’t proud of. A couple clean monster waves rolled through, right toward me, Mother Nature sent them right to me even though I was 100% sitting in a channel.

And I didn’t go.

Surfing should be about having fun. Absolutely. But it is also a sport of progression and a sport of opportunity. Letting a couple beauties go by yesterday morning really ripped me up. I paddled in without having caught a single wave. I was still happy that I’d paddled out and in safely, as it was a big day for me, but that really stuck in my craw. I couldn’t shake it. I was bummed with myself.

Then, driving to BU today, I was listening to a podcast with Ian Walsh in the podcast series Finding Mastery. And he described that exact feeling, and discussed how, after a session like that, where he’d missed opportunities he should have taken, and how he would write a note to himself afterwards saying something like I never want to feel this way again.

It reminded me of what my old springboard diving coach, Matt Leone, one of the greatest, instilled in us. He never got mad if we over-rotated on a dive, but if we under-rotated? Shit. That was grounds for some serious iras. And I get it. Over-rotating means you went for it—you just misjudged. Under-rotating means you didn’t fucking go for it. You held back.

My heroes are the ones who are .going for it, who aren’t holding back. Many of them surf around me every day and you can see it. They’re paddling like they’re being chased. One of the best is injured right now, out of the water, but that’s his philosophy—hold nothing back—and it’s the one to follow.

And that’s where I want to be. With surfing. With life. Thank you, thank you, Ian Walsh, for understanding and for giving me time in the car to really reflect and sit with that session.