On Writing and Rejection and Opening Your Own Window

Somehow, through some beautiful divine alchemy, my feelings about rejection have started to change, particularly when it comes to writing.

Since becoming a sturdier human being over the last couple years—that, coupled with a few randomly placed quotes about rejection I’ve stumbled across—it’s come to mean something other than what it used to mean.

Rejection is what led me to the path I’m on of independent publishing and blogging—of doing my own thang. After getting nowhere submitting essays and stories to mags for a few years (with the caveat that I am far less patient and punctilious about following up than others are), rather than keeping my writing out of rotation with the world, I just decided to put it out there using my own outlets.

That repeated rejection—which frankly sucked at the time--led me to autonomy and freedom: the freedom to own my own writing schedule, write about what I want to write about, to have typos, to mess up.

Rejection used to feel so 1) personal and 2) world-ending. It used to feel like I was losing something, I was missing out. But now, I take it to mean that I’m just that much closer to finding my true tribe, the people my writing truly connects with (like you :-)). I remind myself that this is a big, beautiful world, and there are treasures all around. In other words, rather than being in the mindset of scarcity when it comes to rejection, I’m in the mindset of abundance.

I’m realizing that judging rejection—that taking it as “bad”—is a waste of energy. It’s also so often not true. That “no” was the thing that brought you closer to other “yes’s” that were meant for you. Maybe the no’s are giving you the gusto, freeing you up to shout “What have I got to lose?!” and flinging yourself at the next opportunity, a little wild eyed, tal vez un poco loco, but freer, less sensitive.

And one last thing—I used to take rejection as so finite. Like it was “No forever, for all eternities and beyond! NO and NO and NO and NO!” Now I take it as: Not right now. I take it as an invitation to check in down the road, see if the stars might be more aligned then.

It still stings. But I’m feeling more resilient, moving on faster, not feeling it in such a deep wounding place. I’m staying light, staying high and knowing my only job is to keep showing up with my writing. That it finds its way to the right hearts. It’s not my job to understand why it all unfolds the way it does. It’s just my assignment to do what I’m fashioned to do, day in and day out, and trust. That—and if the world is shutting doors in my face, open my own window.

Resources:

BOOK: Sheri Salata, The Beautiful No: And Other Tales of Trial, Transcendence, and Transformation

PODCAST EPISODE: Don’t Keep Your Day Job (Hosted by Cathy Heller): Sheri Salata on Transformation & Turning a Beautiful No into a 20 Year Career with Oprah Winfrey