Digging into FOMO, plus an Actionable Exercise
Digging into FOMO, which stands for fear of missing out
I am definitely not the only one who experiences FOMO—that irksome itch behind the sternum that arrives when you’re looking at social media.
Life feels absolutely grand and great, you feel like the luckiest person on earth, then BAM—you open Instagram, you see some hot blonde chick skating down the boulevard with palm trees behind her and you think—what am I doing wrong?
I get caught up in this trap all the time—my feed is filled with surfing, surfers, sustainable living, artists/photographers/writers—and they always seem to be doing something totally rad, way radder than what I did today.
They fall into a few different categories:
Hot girls looking like they could care less:
Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash
2. Anywhere that I don’t recognize. WHY HAVEN’T I BEEN HERE (TWICE!) BEFORE!?
Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash
3. Everyone partying! ie Tonight’s the night! I can take you there! I can feel it!
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash
4. EVEN THE PINEAPPLES ARE HAVING MORE FUN.
Photo by Pineapple Supply Co. on Unsplash
5. And, oddly, this one. But like, why?
Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash
But then, a thought came to me today like a bird to the window—isn’t it possible I’m already doing a lot of this stuff? OR isn’t it possible that when it comes down to it, I don’t WANT to do all this stuff, or maybe I want to do it, but I’m not willing to put in the time it would take to get there?
That little mini thought exercise was enormously helpful. I chose a couple feeds I like to look at and asked myself these questions about the posts:
1. Am I feeling FOMO, which suggests I don’t do this thing, but do I actually do this and therefore there’s no reason to feel jealous?
2. Do I actually want to do this?
3. Do I want to do this, but I don’t want to do the work it takes to get there? In which case I should either reevaluate or just get comfy with my choices?
I know it feels like way too much effort to ask these questions when you’re looking at Instagram or Facebook posts, but I assure you, it’s worth it. It staves off those awful gremlins that make you think you’re not doin’ cool shit when you actually ARE doin’ cool shit and BEING cool (there’s only one of you, in and of itself, that is cool and miraculous). Doing this little question exercise staves off the awful gremlins that make you jealous of ghost lives before you remember wait a second—you don’t want to be an astronaut in the first place! OR, you WANT to be an astronaut, but you don’t want to leave Planet Earth for 10 years-but-it’s-actually-100-in-space so everyone including your cat Foggybottoms is long gone when you return?
I think it’s incredibly important to question these gremlin thoughts that might have zero credibility when you actually spend a second turning them over.
::So give it a try::
· Ask “Do I actually already do this?” (IE, this is a picture with someone with their friends, and oh ya, I hung out with my friends last night?)
· Ask “Do I even want to do this?” (IE, this is a picture of someone swimming with sharks, and I just realized I actually have no desire to voluntarily hang with a gilled apex predator?)
· Ask “Do I want to do this, but I’m not willing to make the sacrifices I need to get there?” (IE, So and so is circumnavigating the globe in the water on their Frisbee and unicycle, and while circumnavigating the globe sounds awesome and all, and maybe I’ll do it in a year, but this year, I actually want to hang home with my loves, see when the garlic’s ready for harvest, surf my home break, and watch my friend’s baby grow up?)
It’s the difference between being satisfied with your life and unsatisfied—it allows you to be grateful for what you’re doing, remember why you made and continue to make choices, and maybe it even allows you to go for something you should be going for, which all seems worth more than a bag of bones to me.